When the going gets tough, the tough get going

Right now I’m working on my first 3d work of 2018.

 

It’s been a long time coming, but it is fine. I have given myself time off, to breath and live. To stop pressuring myself and feel that it is fine not to be constantly perfect. Being an artist or any sort of creative is not an easy way of being, but it is who I am. Somehow although I acknowledge this power, I feel sometimes lost and not confident at all.

Constantly going to job interviews, and getting the same response has not really helped me at all. To this, I have questioned and asked myself so many questions to which I have never experienced before. Looking at things and unfocusing on me, has made me struggle again what I really want to be. What is my goal in life? Is it really this? Is this what I worked but ass off? Is this what I deserve?

Having been on schedule, on point, in time and well coordinated for the past twenty years, I feel that this is all new to me. I feel that I have constantly conditioned who I was to the system that defined me. Funnily enough, I did everything right but nothing that right. I sought to gain knowledge in places where they blind me from the real raw reality of life. Only now I acknowledge this mental paralysis that has defined me for so many years, has really changed who I am.

Taking all of this and acknowledging my pitfall, I am trying to live in the now. Forget about my worries and past battles that I have still not shaken away. I feel I sometimes live in the past and the future and never focus on the now, which I feel bad thinking about it now.  I hunger to live, but I feel scared it will soon fade away. I need to understand that this is fine, and I have only now to live for. Tomorrow is nothing but a prediction, and this is what I need to think about and understand.

There is self-worth in me and I know. Although not everyone will think this about you, the person that matters is you and only you. The worth is not the many palaces you buy and the beautiful cars you drive, but it is the untouchable beauty that resides in you. I have dreams to case and birds to let loose.

People that we love will never fade away, and this is what will testify the passing of time. Only memories like this should live in me. Let go of what you can’t fix and pursue the best parts of what makes you. Kill all the insecurities and case the beautiful now with all your heart.

This expression is mine, and there is nothing wrong with it.

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michelinmission I know you can find yourself again!

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it all starts here

Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body,  my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.

Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.

Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.

Stay Focused and Positive Micheliners!

MichelinMission 🙂

Day 14 Persistence and Endurance

Today it was a huge struggle, I found myself in some dilemma and keeping my threshold high can at times, be a trigger for me to actually feel annoyed and at times upset.

Some things that I should keep in mind to move forward, is that all things that are new can be a huge struggle at first, and Rome was not built in a day, but through small steps I can achieve big heights.

To this I will keep you with a small thought for today. I came from nothing and wherever I’m going I don’t know, the challenge that I have in front of me is something that I have to conquer to move forward for my dream.

Off to challenge myself one more time.

Persistence and endurance will make you omnipotent. Casey Neistat

‘You are what you do’

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michelinmission

 

 

Day 13 just keep swimming

Today the weather has failed us from any sun rays. Its been a long and exhausting day. I have worked on the topology and reworked myself again, as I realized that some parts were not working properly and could be problematic when I try to UV unwrap everything on a later stage, another development that I should work on is the 2D element that is part of this animation.

A deeper evaluation and construction of outcome should be undertaken for me to fully acknowledge which parts I should make emphasis on and somewhat develop my look dev for the eventual outcome.

I shall be discussing as well some animation elements that I might be embedding within my work. These are the following inspirations that I am inclined to develop and further enhance my work into.

 

Although i don’t have any dance involved within the development of my animation, the rhythmic pattern and energy and same element of fluidity is something that I would like to capture within my animation.

 

what’s next?

Dealing mainly with developing and formulating the first animation model, and working into achieving other assets this week. Together with this the development and getting on hold of music artist that will help me achieve the final outlook and development.

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(more sun tomorrow please :))

Michelinmission

Day 12 of the journey

Hopefully the internet connection won’t fail me this time.

Today I have been working and developing a sequence of test in relation to the development of my character Brice. Trying to keep a clean topology and a well formed structure to the anatomy is somewhat hard, but with some patience and calmness I’m getting there.

topology grid

Somehow the topology got confused when I combined the two meshes and I could not properly manage it. To this I had to find a way to reface and patch the parts that were not working properly.

topology grid 2

What’s next?

I will define and develop my topology and connect all the parts together, and hopefully I will then start developing a proper UV unwrap to start developing my project.

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Michelinmission

Day 7 ‘Fearlessness of being a child’

‘It’s not the having, it’s the getting.’

Elizabeth Taylor

For today’s agenda I shall talk about the aesthetic and narrative that I am developing so far. It’s a bit complicated but bare with me.

So as I said earlier before the narrative that I am exploring is that of an individual that is facing inner dilemma, and he escapes within the wonders of his inner childhood and dreams. It sounds complicated, and to some extent it is. Nonetheless, what I am trying to capture is an aesthetic that delineate and submerges well the scope and resonating factor of the medium in the context of the narrative.

This in all intent is possible, yet I am finding it hard to actually express it in solid 3d spaces. To this I have been considering shifting the essence of 3d aesthetic into something that is more 2d in a bear essence. This sounds awesome, but developing enough power to gain this is somewhat hard and I need a vibe of momentum that will ignite me to find something interesting within.

Looking through splendid work of Glenn Keane and his wonders, I was awestruck how such a 2d animator could evoke 3d elements even within the essence of flat planes.

I know that here there is something deep through which I should look closer. There is something deep, that if I analyse deeply I will find my way into expressing this confusion of thoughts that I have within my head.

‘What is this amazing new world I stepped into. ‘

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michelinmission